


Sometimes Love Starts in the Bed (Or that One Week Kamui Tried His Parents' Approach at Romance)

by AvaCelt



Category: Gintama
Genre: 5 Times, Disgustingly Romantic, M/M, Read with caution as it humanizes Kamui, disregards current state of manga, sorta canon compliant but also not really
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-19
Updated: 2015-12-25
Packaged: 2018-05-07 14:26:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,391
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5459732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AvaCelt/pseuds/AvaCelt
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>According to his useless father, sometimes love started in the bed. He wonders if Shinsuke's the type to roll with that. (or Five Times Kamui Visited Shinsuke's Room in the Dead of Night so He Could Convince Shinsuke to Marry Him Since it Worked with His Useless Father, and Hey, Baldy Might Be a Dumbass, but At Least His Marriage Was Honest Unlike Most Yato's Pitiful Attempts at Romance)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title and premise is based on Kagura's A+ recollection of her father's comments about love in chapter 419.
> 
> To be updated every day with a total of seven chapters. Enjoy! *3*

When Kamui realizes he’s behaving testily towards crew members, he will silently remind himself that powerful Yato have powerful stomachs, not fragile egos and frayed tempers. That’s why he smiles so much. His smile is as real as his strength, a marker of how truly incredible he is as a fighter and a Yato. He’s amazing, perhaps even fabulous, and more so, he’s happy. He knows one day he will get to take on the perm-wearing samurai on Earth and maybe even convince Abuto to fight at his full strength, but that’s for the future.

Now he’s being a bitch and he hates it. The last time he was this perturbed, poor Abuto lost an arm. Deep down, he feels a little bad, but not so bad as to say sorry. After all, the fifteen prosthetic arms Kamui’s had manufactured for him over the months should attest to how sorry he is.

Not. Hehe. He’s not  _that_  nice.

But his agitation is slowly building at the blonde gunslinger of Kiheitai. It’s the sixth time she’s attempted to hop over the table and rub her breasts against Shinsuke’s arm at dinner. It’s horrific. It’s a trainwreck he knows will end with Shinsuke excusing himself from the table fifteen minutes before the rest of the crew is finished. Without another word, he’ll take himself out the deck of their flying ship and smoke his pipe and mind his business like he always does. Gunslinger Woman will attempt to follow him but Hentai Man will play interference with a rude comment and then they’ll cuss at each other until dinner is over and everyone retires for much needed sleep. It’s a faithful routine.

And it would have been a perfectly fine routine if Gunslinger wasn’t so  _invested_ in shoving her breasts against Shinsuke’s apathetic form. It’s frighteningly amazing how she hasn’t yet realized that he only sleeps with courtesans and men.

Kamui’s not afraid to admit he wants to slip in between those legs one of these nights. They were nice legs. Further down the long table, Abuto visibly sighs as if detecting Kamui’s thirstiness through sheer will of Yato-ness.

“Captain,  _no_ ,” cries his father’s baby cousin* who looks forty-five instead of thirty-two (Kamui expects it’s because of him).

“Captain,  _yes_.” No one understands the exchange except a few of the Yato who’ve had the misfortune of witnessing their captain shamelessly thirst for seemingly unattainable men at the oddest times (like that one time Kamui murdered a man in cold blood and then presented his corpse to his shrieking consort before asking said shrieking consort for some food and permission to court).

Kamui can’t help it. It’s not often that he has the urge to make love to someone, but when the inclination does make an appearance, he takes it seriously. After all, repression and denial caused Housen to become a shut-in with an elaborate cage built for a woman who didn’t even want him. The thought is so ugly that it makes him want to puke up his twenty-seventh plate of lasagna.

Sure, Yato were astonishingly invested in their incredibly shitty love lives, but Housen kept a woman in a caged city, for hell’s sake, and look where that got him. He was touted as the most powerful Yato for far too long that Kamui’s surprised someone didn’t come for his throat earlier for being that unbelievably stupid. Keeping a person in a cage? Not asking for consent? Kamui inwardly tsk-tsks. In the end, Housen was all brawn and no brain- dead without anyone to love him, and the girl whose Achilles heels he’d snapped was now living with her fellow moon and they were raising a child together.

Not that Kamui would ever have children. He’s sure they’d grow up trying to kill him just like he’d tried killing Baldy. Not a good image. He wants his future to shine with blood, not get bogged down by it. Flesh was to be relished, not wasted.

Shinsuke isn’t a dumbass. As daft as the other members are, Shinsuke is light years beyond all of them in both the beauty and the brain departments. Kamui knows that he knows Kamui’s been bitchy towards members of the fleet, and that when they spar, Kamui presses too close, lowers his eyes, lets his fingers drift gently across Shinsuke’s face even when they’re supposed to be fighting until one of them is too exhausted to move. Kamui does it on purpose and Shinsuke knows it.

His thoughts drift to his useless father and his mother next as Gunslinger Moron makes her seventh attempt at jumping Shinsuke’s silent form. Kamui remembers that Mommy and Baldy were together until she died, and from what Kamui’s contacts tell him, Baldy has yet to take another lover. Kamui sneers and that’s when he senses Abuto and the other Yato stiffen. The Kiheitai have yet to take notice of his changes in his expressions, but his men and his darling, one-armed uncle are all on high alert.

His mother was incredibly beautiful. Even when she was wasting away, her loveliness remained. Baldy may be useless, but at least he was loyal. He had every right to be. Kamui’s mother was someone worth being loyal to.

Kamui hears Shinsuke rise from his seat and straighten his back, and all thoughts of Mommy and Baldy disappear.

“We have a strategy summit tomorrow afternoon. Make appropriate arrangements for a long day, and remember to add yakult bottles to the evening menu. Thank you and goodnight.”

His chair barely scrapes the floor as he gets out and tucks it in before disappearing to the deck. Gunslinger Klutz attempts to make follow but Hentai Man makes a comment on how discombobulated her breasts are, and suddenly there’s a full on fight while the rest of the table quietly finishes their dinner.

Mommy would have laughed and Baldy would have blushed with that hideously smitten look on his face and Kagura, tiny Kagura, she would have giggled and smashed mashed plums against her mouth in an effort to devour them.

But there’s no Mommy, no Baldy, and no Kagura. It’s him, Abuto, his surviving Yato crew, and members of Kiheitai. There’s him, and then there’s Shinsuke. There’s him, and then there’s Shinsuke’s pipe. There’s his libido and Shinsuke’s quiet demeanor.

Baldy once let it slip that he and Mommy had a shotgun wedding. What was it that he said?

_Sometimes love starts in the bed, Abuto._

Ah. Baldy had been encouraging his dear uncle to make a move on one of the Yato he’d managed to feel some type of way about. Kamui recalls that he was eavesdropping because he was curious. Mommy had been asleep with tiny Kagura and he was too hyper to conk out like his Mommy and baby sister, and so he’d peeked in on his father and dumb uncle’s private conversation.

_Not everyone has that kinda luck_ , Abuto had deadpanned.

Kamui remembers that by that point he had turned away. It was a boring conversation, it seemed at the time. Everyone knew Mommy and Baldy got married while she was pregnant with Kamui, but the kicker was that they had also fallen in love.

Kamui is being a bitch and he made it obvious enough that earlier in the day, he went as far as to offer Shinsuke a plate of food at breakfast. A Yato offering someone food. A Yato. Offering food to someone they weren’t related to or currently fucking. Kamui was courting and he knew Shinsuke knew, but the only way to confirm was to ask.

_I’d like to join you tonight. Do I have your permission?_

In typical Shinsuke manner, he puffed out some smoke from his pipe and shrugged.  _Sure._

Kamui decided that’s all he needed but he knows, deep down, that it’s not enough. Mommy and Baldy fell in love after they found out Kamui was growing in her belly and got married thereafter, but Kamui couldn’t put a baby in Shinsuke’s stomach. Shinsuke was also a brooder, quiet unless it was necessary to speak, and proponent of the Mind Your Damn Business school of thought. Kamui knows that whatever they do tonight or any other night will be nothing more than sex and a warm body to sleep next to.

Unless.

“Sometimes love starts in the bed.” Knives and forks clatter as they fall to the table. Gunslinger Woman gawks. Hentai Man absently strokes his chin as if in deep contemplation. Abuto visibly sighs again. “What?” Kamui scratches his full stomach. “It’s true.”

Baldy may have been useless, but at least he had found love and maybe, just maybe Kamui could convince Shinsuke that Yato men were much more than bloodhounds with no brains. After all, there was a reason why Housen was dead and why his once caged bird now lived happily ever after with her moon and their son.

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Yep, I headcanon Abuto has Umibozu's darling not-so-much-a-baby-anymore cousin. *3*


	2. The First Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamui holds him the first night.

Kamui holds him the first night.

When he enters the unlocked room, Shinsuke's already naked and laying on his side, his back to the door. The distance is a reminder of the fact that Kamui is a Yato and not the man Shinsuke wants next to him*. He doesn't know the man's name, but he does know that he's alive and that, at least, it's not the perm-head. Kamui is temporary relief to a lifelong problem, but Kamui knows this because Shinsuke doesn't even extend courtesies to his own fleet unless absolutely necessary. Shinsuke stands, sits, and sleeps alone, even with a body next to him.

So that first night, Kamui just holds him. He holds him because Shinsuke's the softest thing he's ever held that he hasn't crushed in his hands. Kamui knows if he's not gentle, Shinsuke will break. Kamui can split ships with his bare hands, but one stab wound will put Shinsuke in a coma for a month. The crew learned that particular fact the hard way. When Shinsuke had woken up from his weeks-long sleep, he was tired and dead in his remaining eye. Usually he was just smug, or empty, or angry, or lustful. But when he'd woken up from the coma with atrophied muscles and a thin frame, his eye and cheeks were so hollow that Kamui thought he was looking at a ghost. It might have been. The Shinsuke he knew didn't come back until the second week after he'd come out of the coma.

So Kamui has to learn to hold him, only him, gently because he's flesh and bones and beauty. And Kamui's experienced beauty before, but Shinsuke. Shinsuke's beauty rivals that of blood. Blood rain, bloodlust, bloody footprints, bloody fingers, bloody bandages. Blood is singular, and Shinsuke's beauty rivals that very blood Kamui's craved since he was a child.

Kamui knows because he caresses scars and lacerations, flesh riddled with stories of all kinds from a war Kamui was too young to fight in. Kamui is amazed at how the butterfly yukata and the gold embossed outer robe that almost always expose parts of Shinsuke's chest and thighs are so skillfully put on that none of Shinsuke's scars are noticeable. But without any clothes and with only the moonlight, Kamui lets his fingers drift along the long, thin lines and the thick, jagged cuts that have healed over time. One particular mark seems to be a product of torture. The skin looks to have been gouged to inflict maximum pain, and a part of the flesh is missing. It's an ugly sight and it's right below Shinsuke's hip, on the side of his left thigh. It's discolored and doesn't belong, but it's the most beautiful thing Kamui's ever seen. Shinsuke survived torture. Yato fought to the death on rainy battlefields, under dark skies. Torture was for the ones who didn't know how to inflict pain in a real battle, only in closed quarters with dim lighting and the smell of piss and blood permeating the room.

Shinsuke survived his bout against cowards. Shinsuke survived a war, some form of torture, a coma, and an existence rooted in loneliness. The galaxy could disagree all it wants, but Kamui would always give credit where credit is due. He isn't Housen. Housen thought too much of himself and therefore his grave was routinely spit on by hateful courtesans who didn't have the compassion to extend kindness to evil men.

The soft folds of Shinsuke's tummy are comfortable beneath Kamui's fingers. He presses against the supple flesh and giggles when Shinsuke eases into his embrace with a grunt. It's an invitation for mindless rutting, but Kamui also fancies himself a bright crayon and remembers what that anger management instructor once told him on a lazy afternoon.

_One step at a time, Yato-san._

Kamui whistles and presses his bare chest against the curve of Shinsuke's back and nuzzles Shinsuke's hair. They share a pillow. Kamui's butt naked and pressed against a beautiful man, but he doesn't make a single move to fuck him and Shinsuke snorts before drifting off to sleep, disappointed but not entirely surprised that he didn't get laid. Kamui doesn't sleep. He strokes Shinsuke's stomach, his hips, the worst of his scars, and burrows his face into the inky black hair while Shinsuke snores softly. Tomorrow morning, Gunslinger Klutz will attempt to rub up against Shinsuke again while Kamui smiles and fumes on the inside. But tonight, at least tonight Shinsuke is his to hold and caress.

Even though Shinsuke doesn't turn around once during the night and into the early hours of the morning, Kamui knows he's at least won this battle. After all, he's a Yato man looking to _not_ make Housen's mistakes. Who wanted to end up alone and in the ground? Even Mommy kept Baldy in line even if she had gone ahead and died, but Housen was nothing. The sun and the moon of Yoshiwara had moved on with their lives and Housen was no where to be found on their tongues.

Kamui seeks to be remembered, but more than that, he seeks to be forever. No one could kill him because he honest-to-Hell _believed_ he could never die. He's an extremely positive creature, and for a killer, that's rare. But Kamui has a plan, and the first step was permission. Permission was granted. Next step, caress as if the first time were the last time.

And Kamui remembers his useless father's words about how love could start in bed and so that's where Kamui begins.

Shinsuke sleeps through the night and wakes up a little after dawn. Kamui feigns sleep, even though he knows that Shinsuke isn't stupid. Shinsuke uses the toilet, showers, gets dressed, and disappears into the day.

But Kamui has won the first battle. He's won the night. He is, after all, a Yato man and Yato men were nothing if they didn't know how to put their well-endowed dicks to good use. Kamui fancies himself brighter than most, so he pats his flaccid cock and tells it to be patient because sometimes love starts in the bed but since Shinsuke's so different from anyone else Kamui has lain with, he tells junior it might take more than a few tries before love led to a few orgasms.  

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The man Kamui refers to is Katsura, but the reference is to be taken purely from Kamui's perspective. Don't fret y'all, Zura doesn't crash the party.


	3. The Second Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love should be a crime. It was the excuse Housen used to snap a little woman's tendons and then keep her locked away in a cage. It's what kept Baldy faithful to Mommy. It's what keeps the little runt's faith in him alive, even though he's told her multiple times that she's too weak for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is food and I like food. *3*

They kiss on the second night.

The meeting takes longer than expected and, more than once, Kamui is reminded of why he sent Abuto to represent him at staff meetings instead of showing up himself. Perhaps that was one of the reasons why Harusame wanted him dead. He falls asleep maybe six times during the eight hour meeting. Abuto sends him mental pleas to cease and desist and maybe pay attention for once??? As if. Kamui knows his strengths, and they're definitely not located in the pencil pushing department. He'll leave that to Momo and Ringo, the only Yato Kamui has ever met that that boast accounting degrees along with their exceptional fighting skills. It's an uncanny sight, but welcome nonetheless.

So after a long day of dozing (on Kamui's part) and explaining particulars on how they were to take out four of the Bakufu's air ships in the coming week (courtesy of Shinsuke), Kamui enters Shinsuke's room in the dead of night to kiss him silly. And it's a sloppy kiss, lots of tongue and not enough kissing, but copious degrees of exchanging of saliva and needy moans. It's so unbecoming that Kamui cackles into Shinsuke's mouth, but his posture stiffens when the older man palms his stiffening penis.

Warning bells go off in Kamui's head. Shinsuke is already naked like the night before and he pulls at Kamui's flimsy night shirt and pants, but before his clothes come off, Kamui gets a strong grip at Shinsuke's hands.

The working eye betrays no emotion, not even with the glazed look and shaky fingers. Shinsuke doesn't need to be told, and before Kamui knows it, the man is yawning and settling on his side to go to sleep. Kamui feels bad because Shinsuke's manhood seemed to be painfully aware of Kamui's presence, so OK, maybe he should suck him off and then get some sleep too, but-

But.

Kamui strips and lays down next to the man who would be asleep any moment now if Kamui didn't make his move. He pats his slackening manhood, mentally tells it to brave through his perilous journey for love, and then situates himself in a position to spoon Shinsuke like he did the night before. However, he needed to put step two in action before dawn breaks and the whole ship is up and bustling about. Kamui steels himself and puts on his trademark smile.

“Shinsukeee~” Shinsuke pretends like he doesn't hear and stays put. Kamui tries again. “Shinsukeee,” he whines again. No response. “Shinsuke. Shinsukeee. Shinsuke. Takasugi. Takasugi Shinsuke. Shin-chan. Taka-kun. Shinsukeeeeeee-”

Shinsuke's fast when he's angry, and now he's glaring at Kamui with his remaining eye and breathing heavily like a dragon on its way to going berserk. Kamui smiles like he's won the jackpot, and before Shinsuke can tell him to shut up, he quickly leaves a peck on his scarred eye.

Shinsuke stills.

Everyone on the ship was privy to the nature of the ruined eyeball and socket when Shinsuke was in a coma. Crew members, Yato and Kihetai alike, took turns making sure all his bandages were changed and that his feeding and breathing tubes were properly attached and routinely cleaned. After Shinsuke had woken up, the first thing he did was wrap a clean swatch of bandages over the ruined mass even while fingers shook and twitched because of atrophy and exhaustion.

The eye is a reminder of a past Shinsuke hates to talk about but has no problem drinking away. It's the cursed eye, the eye that doesn't function and merely exists to remind Shinsuke of his failures.

When Shinsuke sleeps, the bandage is gone and the eye is hidden by his inky black hair. In the morning, after he's shit and showered, it's back on like it was never off in the first place. But tonight, tonight Kamui wants to remind him that it's there, and that it's OK. Kamui's scars last for up to a day if his opponent is skilled enough, but beyond that, there's nary a mark on his smooth, white skin.

Shinsuke's breathing is still and centered, as if he's contemplating on whether he should attempt to snap Kamui's neck (which he can't) or ignore him altogether and turn around to go to sleep (this Shinsuke can do). Kamui wants the third option, the option where Shinsuke lets him an inch closer than before, beyond the fact that they're both naked and years beyond their actual ages, closer than skin, closer than a kiss. Kamui lets his fingers push away the strands of black hair.

The scarred eye stares back at Kamui as if he's a criminal. He supposes he is. Love should be a crime. It was the excuse Housen used to snap a little woman's tendons and then keep her locked away in a cage. It's what kept Baldy faithful to Mommy. It's what keeps the little runt's faith in him alive, even though he's told her multiple times that she's too weak for him.

Kamui is a killer and a monster and he should be spitting in Shinsuke's broken eye. Instead he kisses the jagged flesh beneath the murky orb before gently moving up to the ruined cornea. He leaves his lips on the ruined mass for almost a minute before letting go.

Shinsuke's good eye blinks. The ruined one remains steady as the eyelids are practically gone and the actual eyeball is desensitized to feeling. But Kamui hopes his lips have at least given Shinsuke some warmth.

Shinsuke turns back around to go to sleep, and Kamui assumes that it's over. He's never going to get Shinsuke alone in a bed again, not unless he builds a gilded cage and forcibly locks Shinsuke away. But Kamui isn't Housen, and deep down in the darkest pits of his chest, maybe he's a bit like Baldy. Sometimes, Kamui hates Shinsuke for it. He never asked to be chained to another person, especially not after trying to kill his own father and abandoning his baby sister and his sick mother. He didn't want attachments. He isn't Housen. He wouldn't be weak enough to fall at the feet of his beloved, and if the beloved refused him, beat them into submission. He's a monster, not an animal. He craves blood, not sex.

Kamui doesn't hurt, but he does reflect. Mutsu of the Yato had a shitty father and a shitty crew that would rather she die than rule in her rightful place. Abuto might have fallen in love a few times, but his darling uncle now spends his days resigned to endless days of watching over him and making sure he doesn't kill important political figures by accident. Baldy travels the galaxy, and one day, the little runt will join him because despite the distance, Baldy loves the runt and the runt loves her father. Kamui thinks Perm-samurai and Spectacles will probably join them because they're their own makeshift family. Kamui will waste away with Abuto and the others by his side, and maybe they'll die before he does, and he'll be all alone just like the Yato blood promised.

Maybe he should build a cage just for himself, without his beloved and without anything but an empty wasteland and a dark moon above. Perhaps that's where it would all end. He could avoid both Housen's and Baldy's fates. The only chain that would kill him in the end would be the chain he creates for himself. There would be no men to warm his bed, only blood of opponents to satiate his tongue, no friends or family to remind him that he belongs to a tribe, and finally, finally when someone kills him dead, that'll be the end of his tale. Perhaps that's where it _should_ end, since it'll be on his terms and no one else's.

He doesn't recall Shinsuke moving until his cheek lands on his bare chest. Kamui blinks twice before shifting his eyes to the being snoring softly on his chest. Somewhere along the way, Kamui's arm managed to get lodged beneath the sleeping human, and it takes three tries before Kamui can free his limb and stare in awe at the creature who's stolen a piece of his black heart.

Shinsuke sleeps like the dead, or at least, Kamui thinks this is how the dead sleep. Kamui had expected nightmares, but instead there's nothing but even breathing and a firm grip on his waist as Shinsuke's bad eye and cheek are smushed against the naked expanse of his bare chest. Kamui lets his fingers sift through the dark black hair.

So maybe the plan did work. He may have just gone off the emo end of the spectrum and almost dug himself into a hole. He would have to see a human therapist for that before he accidentally goes postal and shoots down Kiheitai's flying ship for shits and giggles. Abuto might even lose his remaining arm. Momo and Ringo might defect to Kaientai and Gunslinger Woman might actually succeed in bedding Shinsuke.

Shinsuke didn't try to kill him, and even though they're both in the nude and pressed chest-to-chest on a chilly night, there's no more lust clouding anyone's thoughts or actions. Kamui holds Shinsuke as his ruined eye and soft cheek press against Kamui's bare chest. Kamui holds him as heavy rain begins to descend on their ship.

Kamui cracks a smile. Maybe this could go somewhere after all.

* * *

 

 


	4. The Third Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shinsuke's grabby tonight because they'd carried out four secret assassinations of various Bakufu officials earlier in the day, all before noon. It was amazing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are appreciated!

The third night, Kamui brings him four platters of food, two tankards of alcohol, and expensive tobacco. Kamui's disgustingly rich and usually the coffers are for paying his loyal ducklings (and dear Abuto) and for purchasing food, but sometimes, sometimes he likes to buy for someone other than his crew members and himself.

Shinsuke is sleepy, naked, and clearly befuddled. “It's two am.”

“Humans need their strength!”

“... it's two am.”

“Here, have some red rice!”

Of course Shinsuke gives Kamui the most judgment look known to humanity and Yatohood, but Kamui's steeled his hormones to deal with this plan and this man properly. Thus, he places the food, drinks, and tobacco on Shinsuke's desk before stripping. Shinsuke grumbles things under his breath but Kamui's projecting his inner bunny today. He's all cute smiles and unbraided hair, and also very much naked with an eight-inch dick and smooth skin to go with it. He thinks that's drool at the corner of Shinsuke's mouth when he's finished folding his night clothes.

Shinsuke's grabby tonight because they'd carried out four secret assassinations of various Bakufu officials earlier in the day, all before noon. It was amazing. Bansai wasn't actually useless. Gunslinger Klutz actually had aim, and for some reason, Hentai Man and Ringo made a good pair when it came to secret stabbings. Kamui was able to have fun with the Bakufu officials' guards. They were weak, ultimately scraps, but Kamui wasn't looking for anything so strenuous with Project Sometime Love Starts in the Bed in motion.

So he giggles when Shinsuke's greedy hands grope his buttocks and his mouth latches onto the skin next to his belly button. Kamui is weak in the knees. The plan could very well come to fruition tonight. It's night three, and for some humans, apparently that number was particularly auspicious.

But Kamui has a plan, even if his dick is twitching and Shinsuke's mouth feels amazing as it inches closer and closer to his cock, so he has to put an end to it. He grips Shinsuke's shoulders before his lips touch the flesh of his stiff cock and firmly shoves him back.

This time, he looks at Kamui like he's lost his mind. Poor Shinsuke. Kamui lost his marbles somewhere in between trying to commit patricide and thinking it would be a good idea to take up Housen of all people as his sensei. Bad decisions made dead Yato whose former caged birds went off to play house with a ninja and an adopted child. Housen was a dumbass. Kamui is absolutely not a dumbass.

“I had Abuto prepare the best rice and go shopping for the choicest cuts of meat. Three kinds of meat! And pudding! I made the pudding. Won't you try the pudding?”

The disbelief and cloud are almost entirely gone from Shinsuke's eye once Kamui finishes his spiel. His scarred eye makes a mockery of Kamui, but Kamui isn't so easily defeated.

“It's two am,” Shinsuke repeats.

“Which is why you should eat,” Kamui says seriously. Shinsuke's good eye blinks. Five seconds later, it drifts to the food steaming on the table.

“What else did you bring?”

Kamui sharpens his smile. “Hand-picked tobacco leaves from the planet of the Shinra.”

That might be a glean in Shinsuke's eyes, or maybe it's a trick of the moonlight. Either way, he doesn't look so perturbed anymore.

“... Fine.”

No more emo tangents for Kamui of the Yato tonight, because this is a _win_.

Minutes later, Shinsuke's normally minimalist bed looks like a table feast for royal Amanto with terribly huge appetites (read: Kamui's bedroom after human dinner). Shinsuke takes a bowl of rice and begins to shovel the contents into his mouth while Kamui stirs a bowl of soup. When he's finished, Kamui puts the bowl of soup in his hands and starts preparing a dish of vegetables and meat.

“I can't eat all of this,” Shinsuke deadpans somewhere after the soup and into a bowl of beef and spinach broth.

“Of course you can,” Kamui tuts.

“... I'm not a Yato. My stomach isn't a black hole.”

Kamui scoffs. “All humans are big eaters. I've seen your kind devour entire horses!”

Shinsuke snorts. “You sure you're not just exaggerating?”

Kamui nods his head. He really did see humans devour horses before, but he doesn't clarify that the reason why horses were being devoured was because some insane scientist from Uranus decided he wanted to see what would happen if he infected human subjects with a madness serum. Apparently humans liked raw horse meat when indefinitely high on Uranus-grade stimulants.

Shinsuke blinks, face empty, his working eye devoid of emotion. Kamui sits on his heels, naked as the day he was born, and entirely aware of how good he looks with his clothes off, hair unbraided, and smile on. Eventually, Shinsuke sighs and continues eating what's in front of him. When it's time for the pudding, he looks like he's about to puke, but Kamui just pats his tummy and tells him to lay back against the headboard. The empty platters, chopsticks, bowls, and tankards of sake end up on the desk and Kamui cozies up to Shinsuke's naked form with a spoon and a tub of pudding. He holds out the first spoonful with the brightest smile he can muster.

The galaxy could evaporate and it wouldn't matter because Shinsuke takes the proffered spoon into his mouth. He looks tired, and Kamui suspects he is. It's almost four am and they have to be up and about in a little bit, but at least Shinsuke will be doing it with a full stomach and a smug smile.

On the third spoonful, Shinsuke lets out a deep, breathy laugh. He continues to laugh until his head lolls against the headboard and he sleepily gazes at Kamui with his working eye. There should be a halo around Shinsuke's head. No one's ever looked so beautiful when so happy, so... serene. It takes Kamui one minute to toss the pudding, stuff Shinsuke's pipe with the expensive tobacco, light the damn thing, and be back by Shinsuke's side. Shinsuke continues to emit a string of chuckles until his lips close around the pipe. He begins to hum as he smokes.

Kamui's manhood springs to life and he can fuck Shinsuke right now with the pipe sticking out of his mouth and his head lolling against the headboard . He can finger Shinsuke until he's writhing, take him against the headboard until he's full on howling with mirth and chasing a good orgasm. A full tummy, great sake, and the best tobacco known to the galaxy.

A way to a human man's heart was through his vices, after all.

But instead of jumping ahead, Kamui just settles next to Shinsuke as the older man lazily finishes his pipe. Kamui plays with Shinsuke's hair, and tells his own manhood to hush, all eight inches of it. Somewhere along the way, Shinsuke's back ends up pressing against Kamui's chest, and before dawn cracks, Shinsuke ends up asleep in between Kamui's legs. Kamui's never had a man sleep in between his legs without sucking him off first. All these new developments are astonishing to his Yato brain. There's a beautiful human slumbering in between his legs, back and head pressed against his chest and his dick, and no one's worried about killing one another. Shinsuke's pipe is on the desk next to a half-empty dish of sake. Shinsuke is asleep and uninterested in waking up even though the day will officially start in less than an hour.

Kamui leans back against the headboard and smiles sleepily.


	5. The Fourth Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamui has nightmares about losing all of his precious hair. Baldy may have passed the trait on to him, but Kamui won't know until he's thirty and showering one evening. There might be large clumps of red hair lodged in the shower strainer, or maybe he'll get lucky and he'll be having amazing shower sex instead. He feels a little disheartened. Would Shinsuke still like him when he's bald and hideous?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more night and a postlude to go! Enjoy, folks!

He lets Kamui undress him the fourth night.

There was a little note tucked underneath his dinner plate, so Kamui shows up an hour earlier than he has the past three nights. Shinsuke's on his room's private deck, shoulders draped with a heavy shawl while he smokes his pipe and stares at the moon. It's been a long day of politicking and no killing. Normally that would mean an impromptu fight or five once everyone returned to the airship, but an aura of stagnancy had thickened in the air. Maybe it's the coming winter. Maybe people are just tired. Kamui doesn't know, but he does feel somewhat different.

Shinsuke isn't smiling. His usual psychotic grin is replaced with an empty look. It's as if the man sitting out on the deck is a husk instead of a living, breathing entity. Kamui takes a seat on the zabuton set out for him, the chill nonexistent against his smooth skin and flimsy night clothes. He stares at the figure next to him, so poised, so dignified, yet so alone that Kamui wonders if it would have been better if Shinsuke had been born a Yato.

Because then, at least then Kamui would be able to hold him in with his fiercest embrace.

Alas, Kamui recalls that Shinsuke is human and that when Shinsuke's old and brittle, he will probably be the same, minus the hair. Kamui sighs dejectedly. He has nightmares about losing all of his precious hair. Baldy may have passed the trait on to him, but Kamui won't know until he's thirty and showering one evening. There might be large clumps of red hair lodged in the shower strainer, or maybe he'll get lucky and be having amazing shower sex instead. He feels a little disheartened. Would Shinsuke still like him when he's bald and hideous?

Shinsuke snorts, as if catching Kamui's passing thoughts. Impossible. The only people that could hone in on him jumping into yet another messy situation are his family members. Since Baldy and the runt are far, far away, the only person that should detect his tomfoolery is Abuto and Kamui specifically remembers seeing him fall asleep in the rec room Bansai and Gunslinger were playing video games in.

… Could it be? Did Shinsuke find the dimension where Kamui's antics are announced to his father, sister, and uncle via sheer Yato-ness? Did his plan succeed? Did Yato-ness accept Shinsuke as one of their own, even if he is from another planet? Is this... Is this a sign that his love is finally being realized?

“You're a virgin, aren't you?”

Kamui blinks. He must have heard wrong and proceeds to stick his pinky in his right ear and shimmy it a little bit. “Eh?” He says intelligibly because he is an intelligent Yato who apprenticed beneath not-so-intelligent Housen.

“I know I'm not that easy on the eyes, but a bare ass and the fact that I've been letting you into my room in the middle of the night should have let ya know that I want what you have tucked underneath those pants.” He takes a long drag of his pipe, the white smoke drifting from between his lips and out into the open. “But all you do is squeeze my stomach and kiss my scars. First I thought you were some kinda fetishist, but then you fed me last night like I was starved and then let me fall asleep on you like dead weight. It's no wonder I've gone three nights without properly getting laid when there's a perfectly fine candidate next to me.” Shinsuke turns to him and grins. The insane smile is back, but it's a little different from the one he sports when he slashes Bakufu officials to death. For one, Shinsuke isn't baring his teeth. Instead he keeps smoking and grinning wildly at Kamui like Kamui's supposed to know what Shinsuke's insinuating. What the hell is Shinsuke insinuating? He didn't know, damn it, and Kamui feels his antenna spring straight as he smiles and tries to wrack his brain trying to figure out what the hell Shinsuke is talking about.

“You've never fucked anyone, have you?” Shinsuke teases.

Kamui blinks. Apparently his ears are fine and he didn't hear wrong. He smiles harder, blinks twice, smiles some more. “... Oh.”

“I figured,” Shinsuke sighs. “Not many people avoid a blowjob when they're about to get one. I guess I should feel honored you thought I was the appropriate choice for a first time, but I think you're getting this all wrong. Maybe you should ask one of your Yato friends. I have one eye and I like to draw blood when I get fucked. I'm not sure you're ready for that.” Shinsuke says, turning away from him and taking yet another long drag from his pipe. Good because Shinsuke didn't need to see how quickly Kamui's cock came to life. Thank hell for dumb humans, and of course, Kamui being Kamui, he does what he thinks is going to get his blood running the fastest.

“Maybe I like blood,” he purrs, channeling that one woman in a dirty film he saw Bansai, four Yato crew members, and a dignitary from Shinra watch in the rec room while Shinsuke did business two rooms away.

Shinsuke lets out a throaty laugh. “I guessed.”

Kamui lets his eyes drink in the sight in next to him. Broad shoulders, thick thighs, a taut stomach that creates soft folds of flesh when Shinsuke curls into himself or around Kamui. He thinks he can already taste the skin on his tongue. Kamui bares his own teeth. “Let me undress you tonight, Shinsuke.”

Shinsuke emits another heavy sigh before taking the pipe from his mouth and putting out the embers. He breathes heavily, his eyes fixated on the moon. But Kamui knows. Kamui knows that for Shinsuke, this is the only way he can display kindness and affection.

And so Kamui, with all his glory and every ounce of his power, gets up and settles behind Shinsuke on his knees. He slips off the shawl first, marveling at the warmth of the fabric. He'll have to remember to buy two hundred of these as part of the dower gift once Shinsuke agrees to be his.

“Maybe I like taking my time,” Kamui whispers into the shell of his ear while his hands travel along the expanse of the older man's stomach, beginning to undo the obi holding his yukata together. “Maybe I'm worse than any man and woman you've ever slept with.” Kamui kisses the base of his neck while slipping the soft cloth of the yukata off his shoulders. “Maybe I admire your flesh more than I admire your body.” He lets his tongue leave a wet strip of saliva on Shinsuke shoulder while gently squeezing the taut muscle of his chest.

“Maybe they're the same,” Shinsuke says hollowly.

Kamui shrugs, though he doubts Shinsuke notices. “If I wanted just your body, I wouldn't have come back. Flesh, however.” Kamui succeeds in removing the top half of the yukata and only then remembers that even though Earth weather doesn't have any affect on him besides the wretched sun, Shinsuke's still human. Goosebumps cover his flesh and Kamui weakens like the filth he really is and presses his chest earnestly against Shinsuke's naked back.

“Maybe I want something more.” Kamui did want something more. “And maybe I know that you know that I want something more.” And Kamui knows Shinsuke's too smart to not have caught on. “And so then it comes to what to do we do next? Do you tun around and say no?” Kamui sincerely hopes he doesn't. “Or do you let me finish what I've started and enjoy what I have to offer?”

Thing is, Kamui has lots to offer. He's a fighter, a killer, a born leader, and a true destroyer. But, he's also Baldy's son and the runt's big brother and Mommy is still very much dead. If he starts to repress now, then he'll be worse than Housen. There won't be a cage for Shinsuke; there would be planet for all those Kamui would choose to fight and kill, and he'll stack up the bodies like barriers, and when the blood runs cold and the bodies start to rot, Kamui will lay down in the middle of his circle of flesh and sing songs for his beloved.

“Heh. Why not? Might as well enjoy hell together.”

And with that, Shinsuke slackens against Kamui's chest. As per usual, Kamui is not as eloquent as he can be, so he does the next best thing. He unwraps the bandages around Shinsuke's bad eye and tosses it to the side. Then he undoes the rest of the yukata and frees the lower half of Shinsuke's body. He doesn't have underwear on, and in the moonlight with clothes pooled around his naked form, Shinsuke looks like a hollow god. A beautiful, hollow god. His allure is as obvious as his loneliness. His quest for destruction is as firm as his quest for death. Shinsuke is a mad god hell bent on taking down everyone and everything down with him. Shinsuke doesn't want to live long enough to see the galaxy get better, for worlds to form alliances, for races to create peace accords and trade deals. Shinsuke wants the world to burn and he wants to burn with it, and maybe, just maybe the thought would have been admirable before Kamui landed in Yoshiwara and assumed love was a joke and that all Yato were too monstrous to even fall for such a notion, but now, now Kamui feels an inkling of fear creep up his spine.

Somewhere along the way, Shinsuke would leap to his death and join his cursed master in Hell. That man who'd taught Shinsuke one thing while Shinsuke did just the opposite- he's waiting for Shinsuke in Hell. One day Kamui will be looking the other way, and Shinsuke will leap off his private deck and into the dark waters of the Earth's ocean below, and Kamui will be too slow to catch him, too slow to bring him back because humans could be broken, they could be crushed, they could die of fear, thirst, and happiness all the same.

And Shinsuke, his beloved, the hollow god, the mad commander of the Kiheitai, the one-eyed soldier for a lost cause- he sits with his naked back to Kamui, eyes fixated on the dead moon. And Kamui falls in love all over again.

He gets up and strips himself of his own night clothes, then tugs on Shinsuke's hand for him to get up. They amble over to the bed and lay down next to each other, and for the first time in four nights, Kamui wraps his arms around the man who's made a fool out of him and starts to recite poetry in the Yato's native tongue, poems Shinsuke probably doesn't understand, but Kamui still whispers them in his ear anyway. Sometime after the third poem, he starts to tell Shinsuke about his mother, the runt, Baldy, Abuto's refusal to get into an arranged marriage, the hundreds of Amanto he's slaughtered over the years, the bank accounts he's opened throughout the galaxy that are full to the brim and open to Shinsuke's cause because, really, who else is left to give his few prized possessions to? Kamui suspects he will one day die a brutal death, and when he does, he wants to make sure his men and his beloved are free to rule universe when he's gone. It's not old man's talk, just logic. Kamui wants to be strongest in the world, and he knows, God does he know, that the mighty would always fall the hardest.

Maybe, just maybe, Shinsuke wouldn't mind picking him up afterwards.

 


	6. The Final Night

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kamui breathes heavily and lets out a string of giggles. Shinsuke stares intently as if undressing Kamui of his skin and bones to get to the core of his being. Silly, Shinsuke. He leads the older man's hand to his chest, right above his thundering heart. If Shinsuke wants to know where Kamui's core resides, he would willingly lead the older man to it. Shinsuke is for all intents and purposes, to the end of time, to the end of the galaxy and into the next one, his beloved, and if his beloved wants to know where his weaknesses lie, then Kamui will tell him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final night is here! Postlude will be posted tomorrow, so stay tuned!

The final night, Shinsuke agrees to be his.

Kamui's notes on the courting process dictated that the average time for courting a woman in Edo's countryside was about five months. Since Kamui's dick is throbbing and knows Shinsuke will bar him from entering his room if he doesn't hurry up his plans, he'd scaled the five months down to five days.

Tonight's the night he intends to ask for Shinsuke's hand. Given, Shinsuke isn't a woman and Yato are aliens, Kamui still doesn't sweat it. He has a dower prepared. A planet is on standby in case Shinsuke desires more than just comfortable shawls, silk yukatas, and a brand new pipe. Two spaceships worth of tobacco are waiting in one of Kamui's banks on Shinra. Each of Kiheitai's members are about to be gifted with the best guns, swords, headphones, and music equipment in the galaxy. Finally, there are eight heads of various Bakufu officials stuffed on pikes littering the airship's main deck. That gift was seen by everyone earlier in the day.

Special nights call for special clothing so Kamui dons his best robes, swiped instead of purchased because he's a dog from the rainiest planet in the galaxy. The red color of the robes are as vibrant as his hair. He plaits his locks but leaves the hair tie loose. With one pull of the string, the plait would come apart in someone's hands. He can imagine Shinsuke running his calloused fingers through the loose strands.

He slips into the room earlier than all of the previous nights. His crew and Kiheitai's members are still sprawled out on the main deck, drinking and listening to Bansai's music. There's no one on the bedchamber floor.

“Playing it a little close, don't you think?” Shinsuke deadpans, smoke drifting from his mouth as he lounges on his private deck.

Kamui beams, slipping into the cold. “It's a special night.” Shinsuke snorts in response. It's a pretty sound coming from someone so abrasive.

“I liked your gift.” There's a crazy grin playing on his lips when he turns his head to look Kamui in the eye. “Though it would have been more fun if you'd brought me along.”

Kamui chortles. “Can't have my pretty butterfly dirtying his hands.”

The moniker cracks the smile and elicits a grunt from Shinsuke, but the perturbation quickly turns to lust as his eyes travel the length of Kamui's body. He's wrapped in soft red silk tightened to accentuate important aspects of his body. His plait is draped over one shoulder, loose strands strewn in front of his face while his lone antenna sways with the wind. Kamui senses the tell-tale glint in Shinsuke's eye, the one that desires warmth and a long, hard fuck after a particularly tiring day. Kamui lets the sleeve of his robe glide across Shinsuke's shoulder before he steps back into the room. Kamui hears a pipe get extinguished and heavy footsteps traveling from the deck and into the room before the sliding door slams shut.

Shinsuke's hands are cold despite the fact that he'd just been wearing a shawl out on the deck. Icy fingers ghost over the silk fabric of his sleeves before tightly grasping Kamui's porcelain white hands as if to feel that they're real. Kamui gently squeezes the cold digits, his eyes fixed on Shinsuke as he shakily begins to undo the sash keeping Kamui's robe in place. Shinsuke doesn't look Kamui in the eye. His eyes scan Kamui's unmarred collarbones, the naked expanse of his hairless chest, the hard abs, the fleshy softness of his nipples. Shinsuke's fingers have warmed a bit when he feels the strings to his pants come undone. When both sets of cloth fall to the floor, Kamui's as naked as he's been the past four nights, and Shinsuke stares.

He just stares.

Kamui's fast. Faster than lightening, Abuto sometimes notes. Fast enough to leave his father with one arm. Fast enough that while Shinsuke drinks in his naked skin, he pushes himself so close that their chests are centimeters apart and every breath Kamui takes is a symbol of the ache he's been keeping at bay for his beloved's sake. Shinsuke blinks. His eye goes from marveling Kamui's body to meeting Kamui's eyes.

Kamui lets his pale fingers caress the soft strands of hair covering the bandaged eye. “I can offer you the universe. Money, the most vicious fighters, and a reason to keep going. I want to tour hell with you forever, Shinsuke. Do you accept?”

Seconds pass and Shinsuke doesn't answer. A minute passes and Shinsuke's reverted back into his hollow shell, his gaze empty and the centimeters-wide distance between them cold and harsh. Kamui lets out a breathy laugh. Baldy and Mommy are Yato. Love could start in the bed for them because their world was already half destroyed and their people fully depraved. Love is what killed Housen. Love is why Baldy left Mommy to rot with his baby sister while he ran off to apprentice under an animal.

So why did Kamui think such an effort would work on a human being? Shinsuke, despite his self-imposed exile, is still a human being. His desire for love would obviously be different. His poetry would be different, his blood, his skin, his reasons to wake up when the sun rises. There is no sun in Kamui's life. He has no Hinowa. Housen's former bird has always been her own person. Housen could never break her spirit, which is why he burned. He couldn't take out the one thing that gave Yoshiwara life.

Shinsuke walks alone and intends to die alone. He won't be there to pick Kamui off the ground when he's finally defeated and kicked off his mighty pedestal. Kamui will rot like the rest of his people. His blood will seep into the core of whatever planet he falls on, and he'll fade there until someone shovels up a hole in the ground and tosses whatever is left into it. In the end, he will be just like Housen- a grave to spit on, or worse, a forgotten speck in the history of his dying people.

“You think too hard.” Shinsuke wraps his knuckles on his forehead, pulling him out of his reverie. Kamui blinks. “You remind me of an asshole from temple school*,” Shinsuke whispers. His calloused fingers undo the the hair tie, letting Kamui's plait fall apart on his naked shoulder. “But he was never this nice.” Shinsuke leads Kamui's hands onto the obi holding his yukata together. “I accept.”

“You accept?” Kamui clarifies because he could be hearing things.

“I accept,” Shinsuke repeats.

“... Oh.”

Shinsuke snorts. “Oh? That's all?”

Kamui scratches his head, attempting to wrap his brain around the current situation. “Abuto handles the talking; I just eat,” he admits.

“I know,” Shinsuke deadpans.

Kamui nods his heads. “So... no trying to jump off flying ship decks and into oceans because you're feeling depressed?”

Shinsuke blinks. “Why the hell would I jump off the ship's deck?” Shinsuke starts to glare. “And who the hell's _depressed_?”

Kamui shrugs and then thinks on it. “No trying to visit that sensei of yours any time soon?”

Shinsuke is twitching. “I am _not_ dying until the world is in ruins,” he snipes.

“So I can expect us to still be having shower sex ten years from now?” Kamui needs to clarify. Shiploads of tobacco and two hundred shawls in various fabrics, colors, and designs depend on it (also whatever is remaining of his sanity).

Shinsuke closes his eye, takes a deep breath, and exhales. “Yes.”

When Kamui's hungry, he's fast. When he's feeling agitated, he's scheming. When he's trying to rile someone up, he's talking insurmountable amounts of shit. Right now, he feels some type of way at being accepted. Shinsuke is a part of him now. Shinsuke... is a part of him now. Shinsuke... is his. Shinsuke is his.

Kamui bares his teeth in a vicious smile.

Shinsuke's bandage and yukata go flying off to some odd corner of the room while their bodies hit the bed with a loud thud. All he's interested in is Shinsuke's mouth and the taut planes of his stomach and chest. Shinsuke laughs out loud, and had it been later in the night when the others were already tucked into bed, the howls of mirth would have woken up them all up. Instead, everyone's enjoying the night out on the main deck while Kamui presses his beloved against a bed and claims his mouth. Shinsuke pushes against Kamui's chest thirty seconds into the kiss, and Kamui pretends like the gesture actually affects his ironclad skin. He grins down at the laughing man.

“You've been holding out on me, asshole.” Shinsuke snorts. “You piece of shit.”

Kamui giggles. “I couldn't just give away all my cards on the first night.”

“Had me thinking you were a green,” Shinsuke breathes huskily. His eye glazes over again with that tell-tale gleam, and Kamui knows that hunger, that desire to be wanted and held.

“You're _my_ butterfly now, Shinsuke,” Kamui assures him, pressing his cock against the inside of Shinsuke's thigh. “Everything I am.” He kisses the dead eye. “Is yours.”

“Everything?” Shinsuke raises his legs and wraps them around Kamui's waist before snaking a hand around Kamui's throbbing cock.

“Everything,” Kamui growls.

And so on the final night of Project Sometimes Love Starts in the Bed, Kamui finally manages to chase a shared orgasm with his beloved, and really, thank hell Abuto and Hentai Man are A+, 100% amazing at playing interference, or else Kamui's ability to make a man scream from something other a killing blow would have been advertised to the whole crew.

Not that it matters now. Hehe.

Shinsuke is toned and strong, but his thighs have a softness to them that Kamui's never felt on anyone else, not even when he's crushing brain matter with his bare fingers and tossing torn hearts at Abuto's head. He lets the tip of his tongue glide over mottled skin, kissing it softly and making sure his teeth didn't touch the flesh. When his mouth gets to the gouged scar of Shinsuke's left thigh, he hums into the skin with reverence, eliciting a grunt. When he finally lets his tongue slide over the tip of Shinsuke's cock, he raises his eyes to meet his beloved's quivering form.

Kamui takes him into his mouth with their eyes locked on each other. When he's down to the base, Shinsuke swears and throws his head back while Kamui grins with his mouth full. He starts to bob his head up and down the length of the throbbing member while his hands keep a tight grip on Shinsuke's thighs and waist. Rough fingers pull on his hair to speed up the pumps, but Kamui is still a Yato and humans are still supple and Kamui releases the throbbing member with a plop before biting the inside of Shinsuke's thigh as a signal to behave. The older man immediately begins to swear, but now his hands are tearing at the sheets when Kamui's starts to suck his scrotum before sliding his tongue over his cock again. Shinsuke doesn't last much longer than that, and when he throws his head back one last time and cums on Kamui's tongue, Kamui finally relinquishes his grip on Shinsuke's waist and thighs. He peppers kisses all the way up to Shinsuke's lips.

The fifth night, Shinsuke lets Kamui take a piece of his hollow shell and fill it with something other madness. Kamui isn't gentle by nature, but by practice, he's picked up a few tricks on playing nice. He places a fluffed pillow underneath Shinsuke's ass before cheekily smooching him on the nose.

“Do I look like a virgin?” Shinsuke laughs while Kamui slides his finger in with the help of the lube Shinsuke keeps in his drawer.

“I can't have you prolapsing,” Kamui explains. He's determined to make this work.

Shinsuke blinks even though Kamui's two fingers deep and his strokes are steadily increasing. “I- shit, faster- I've taken dick before,” he informs seriously.

Kamui doesn't stop fingering, but he does give Shinsuke an Abuto-inspired judgmental look of eternal tiredness. “Just because I'm needy doesn't mean I'm inconsiderate.” He isn't Housen, dammit. He wants this to last long enough so that he can be having shower sex when he's thirty!

Shinsuke decides it's a lost cause and settles against his pillows, letting Kamui's fingers and creepy smile do all he work. After four fingers, nine minutes of finger magic, and various forms of “Does it hurt? Do you want me to stop? Wait, don't let your butt slide off the pillow, Shinsuke, you'll start to cramp!”- finally the Yato settles between his beloved's legs.

“I love you,” Kamui admits.

Shinsuke snorts smugly, twirling strands of red hair around his fingers. He kisses Kamui's chin. “You've been watching too many night time dramas.”

It's not like Shinsuke's never had eight inches inside him before, but eight inches of a Yato and straight to the base on the first stroke? Shinsuke yelps and blinks at Kamui's toothy grin. Kamui slides out and pushes in again.

Shinsuke gets a grip on Kamui's arm. “You piece of shit,” Shinsuke gasps.

Kamui places a kiss on Shinsuke's forehead. “I'm _your_ piece of shit,” Kamui reminds him. And with that, Shinsuke breaks into laughter.

Kamui thrusts in and out, methodically, unhurriedly, letting Shinsuke's moans reverberate throughout the room with the sound of flesh slapping against flesh in rhythmic beats. He's gentle when Shinsuke's breaths hitch, speeds up his movements when Shinsuke's nails are leaving tracks down Kamui's back, holds down Shinsuke's hands when he gets too grabby while leaving kisses down Shinsuke's throat.

Shinsuke groans when he comes, pushes Kamui off, and climbs on top of him with his softening cock and heaving chest while Kamui's seed slicks down the insides of his thighs. Kamui breathes heavily and lets out a string of giggles. Shinsuke stares intently as if undressing Kamui of his skin and bones to get to the core of his being. Silly, Shinsuke. He leads the older man's hand to his chest, right above his thundering heart. If Shinsuke wants to know where Kamui's core resides, he would willingly lead the older man to it. Shinsuke is for all intents and purposes, to the end of time, to the end of the galaxy and into the next one, his beloved, and if his beloved wants to know where his weaknesses lie, then Kamui will tell him.

Shinsuke's fingers don't leave his chest until his heart calms down their breathing evens out. Kamui takes a deep breath and closes his eyes. He exhales when Shinsuke's lips touch his Adam's apple and then make their way up to his lips.

“Everything? You'll give me everything?”

Kamui nods tiredly, playing with the damp, black hair. “Everything,” he promises.

Shinsuke leaves a chaste kiss on Kamui's lips before settling on top of him again. It only takes a few strokes to bring Kamui to life before Shinsuke eases himself down on Kamui's cock and earnestly begins to ride him. Kamui keeps his hands to his sides and closes his eyes, letting Shinsuke set the pace and take what he craves while Kamui taps into his self-control and refrains from taking control of Shinsuke's hips.

“Oi, look at me,” Shinsuke orders. Kamui opens his eyes to Shinsuke's burning eye. The older man takes one of his hands and wraps it around his weeping cock. Kamui begins to stroke earnestly while his other hand grips Shinsuke's sheets. “You said everything, hmm?” He pushes down faster with every stroke of Kamui's hand, with every word slipping past his lips. “I want everything. I want the whole universe to burn at my feet. If-” he groans then, long and loud, signaling his climax, “if I burn you down with it, it's on you.”

Kamui marvels at his beloved, a paragon of madness, lust, and destruction, all his to touch and take. Kamui grazes the tip of Shinsuke's cock with the tip of his finger and lets out a breathy laugh. “Then I guess I'll have to start carrying burn cream.”

Shinsuke begins to laugh as well and they laugh together, moan together, grip at sheets and skin and push and pull at each other until Shinsuke comes on his chest and Kamui comes inside of him again. Afterwards, Shinsuke slides off and drops like a dead weight against Kamui's chest, tucking his head beneath Kamui's chin before dozing off.

And just like that, it's over. Shinsuke's dead to the world, and Kamui silently cries with a bright smile on his face because he's never held something so soft before and not ended up crushing it. Shinsuke's snores echo throughout the room and Kamui hears the the tell-tale noises of drunk people clambering to their separate rooms after a night of hard drinking and board games. If he'd joined them, Shinsuke would be sleeping alone and Project Sometimes Love Starts in the Bed would have tanked.

But that's not what happened.

Kamui's tears evaporate and he laughs maniacally (albeit very softly, since he doesn't want to wake up Shinsuke). He's conquered the universe already. He's beaten every other Yato before him. He's even beaten his father who now roams the galaxy alone. He's defeated Housen who's buried on Earth and millions of miles away from home. His beloved finally accepts him and that's the true victory in the hell called life. Now he can overtake the perm-samurai and defeat Tendoshu, hunt down the wraith named Utsuro who's assassins have been bothering his private battle interests for months now, maybe even succeed in killing his father and taking out the entirety of Harusame to become the bloodiest and the best that ever lived. Kamui looks fondly upon his butterfly slumbering peacefully on his chest.

Blood is singular, and his love for Shinsuke rivals the blood Kamui's craved since he was a child, but perhaps that very blood is why Kamui's eyes have cleared up now and why his body is under his control for once. The desire for killing that resides in his heart is as powerful as his love for the human who's agreed to be his. Perhaps what killed Housen in the end isn't his refusal to give up the woman who was never him, but the fact that he forgot that _because_ she never agreed to be his, his empire was bound to crumble inevitably.

Yato could fight alone, but they couldn't stand alone. They're warriors, and somewhere along the way, perhaps Kamui had forgotten about the reality of his planet's failure to assimilate into the new galaxy’s order. And to think that he might have one day committed Housen's crimes shakes him to the core. Housen lost because he forgot that beneath his iron chest, there lived a beating a heart. His sun, the woman named Hinowa, didn't want that heart though. Housen could have moved on, gone on to fight even more magnificent battles and plundered even more worlds with his prowess, but instead, he caved into his failures and attempted to tear an unbreakable woman apart. Kamui sneers. Her ankles might have been torn, but the woman rolls around in her chair and makes her son boxed lunches while serving tea to patrons in her little shop, always with a smile, always with her ninja keeping a close eye. And Housen? Housen is dead and he's a disgrace, and Kamui will never, _ever_ stoop that low.

“You think too fucking hard,” Shinsuke grouses into his chest. “Sleep, for fuck's sake, I know you're not a fucking vampire.”

Kamui has no clue what the hell a vampire is, but he nods happily and begins to doze off soon enough. He dreams of standing atop a particular mountain on his home planet while he watches the the sea thunder and crash beneath him. Except, he's not actually standing and he's not alone. Shinsuke holds his hand and smokes his pipe while they both lounge on a mat, shielded from the rain with the help of Kamui's umbrella. They watch as his planet's sea and wind come together to create a cacophony of sounds worthy of becoming a tune for Bansai's next song or Abuto's next poem. Shinsuke settles his head against Kamui's shoulder and Kamui's never smiled this honest of a smile ever before.

And with the rain comes his sorrow, for he comes from a planet of endless sobs and never ending pain, dead mothers buried in the hard ground, and tribe members who exist to murder one another for blood and money. But at least he can share those sorrows with someone now. Shinsuke squeezes his hand, and Kamui squeezes it back.

At least now Kamui can say that he's never going to have to walk this hell alone ever again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *the Temple school person is Katsura


	7. Postlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the rest of the world finds out about Kamui's plans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for now, folks! Enjoy!

“KAGURA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

“PAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

“WHY ARE YOU TWO SCREAMING!”

A vase knocks Umibozu to the ground, eliciting a screech from Kagura, which sends Sadaharu into a fit of barks, and ends with a piece of the broken vase in Gintoki's ass. Shinpachi strolls in half an hour later to see Kagura asleep next to Sadaharu, Umibozu comatose on the floor, and Gintoki with his ass in the air and the ceramic shard still lodged in his ass. The bespectacled sixteen year old sighs and slides the door shut behind him.

“Good morning, everyone!”

“Good morning,” all three reply simultaneously (as it seems Umibozu isn't actually in a coma).

“Welcome back, Umibozu-san. Gin-san, let me pull that out.”

It takes another ten minutes of Gintoki and Umibozu fitfully sobbing into their sleeves about rude kids and being a single parent in this cruel galaxy before they're settled in the den and finally down to business.

“So what brings you back to Edo?” Shinpachi asks politely.

“I've got some terrible news.” Umibozu states. A dark cloud seems to be hanging over his head and Gintoki straightens his back just a wee bit.

“I've been sneezing nonstop this whole week, Pappy, and it's not even summer yet!” Kagura cries, hands curled into fists and expression entirely too serious.

Shinpachi feels a headache coming. “About what, Umibozu-san?”

Umibozu steels himself and looks straight at his daughter. “It's happened, Kagura-chan. I didn't think I'd live to see the day, but it's happened. I'm afraid Earth won't make it out unscathed if it's allowed to go through.”

Gintoki picks his nose and wipes the boogers on his desk. “Be more specific, Tou-chan, so we can hand this over to the Shinsengumi and take a vacation to a resort while they do their jobs for once.”

“You just want a vacation you can't afford, Gin-san,” Shinpachi points out.

“I just want to not have to deal with something the local gorilla squad can handle,” he shrugs.

“It's worse than anything you've ever imagined, Gintoki,” Umibozu's eyes begin to water. “It's why mountains on Rakuyou are flattened into plains, why our seas are drained of their salt; it's why winners become losers and stay losers! It's the ultimate travesty!”

“I won't accept it, Pappy! I won't accept it!” Kagura starts sobbing dramatically into her hands while tears begin to stream down Umibozu's face.

Gintoki blinks while Shinpachi begins to pale. “Oi, don't tell me Edo has to evacuate because some alien's about to drop on us.”

Shinpachi proffers the alien hunter a tissue. Umibozu wipes his noses and then dabs at his eyes. “I never thought I'd see the day,” he admits wistfully. “I never thou-”

“KINTOKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!”

“KINTOKI JA NAI, GINTOKI DAAAAAAA!”

“SAKAMOTO-SAN!”

“PAPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!”

“KAGURA-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!”

“Urusai,” Mutsu clips, thumping Sakamoto on the head. He falls to the floor while Gintoki fumes at his desk.

“Mutsu-san!” Shinpachi cries. “What are you doing here!?”

“We came to see if you've received the news.” She takes a long, hard look at Umibozu who's sobbing with his daughter in the corner. “I had a feeling it wouldn't reach you until it was too late, so I had the Captain and the crew anchor the ship here so we can figure out our next move together.”

Gintoki rises from his seat, fingers casually tapping the bokutou fastened at his side. “That bad, huh?”

Mutsu nods. “It may be the most dangerous battle Earth will ever fight.”

“Rakuyou included,” Sakamoto's muffled voice adds.

“Just what the hell is going on!?” Shinpachi shouts.

Kagura and Umibozu's sobs die down while Sakamoto absently dabs at his bloody nose with a tissue. Mutsu takes a seat on the sofa, her straw hat on the table next to her. She stares at the alien hunter and his daughter as they struggle to keep in their tears.

“They don't know, do they?”

“I was trying to explain before you two arrived,” Umibozu sniffles.

“I see.”

“If the world's about to end, I want to make sure I'm not here for it,” Gintoki deadpans.

“Oh, you'll be here for it, Kintoki.”

“So what's going on!?” Shinpachi's close to hyperventilating. If Edo's under attack, then he needs to move his sister out immediately and inform the remaining Kabukichou Devas and Tsukuyo so they can evacuate the majority of the district and Yoshiwara. Kyuubei and the Yagyuu can handle the elites, and Shinpachi knows the Shinsengumi will take care of anyone left behind, but first, first he has to know what's coming, what's about to turn their lives upside dow-”

“Kamui's getting married!” Umibozu wails and Kagura starts to sob dramatically once again.

“To Takasugi!” Sakamoto adds.

“Every living Yato in the galaxy has been invited,” Mutsu points out.

“The Kaientai too!”

“I believe Katsura Kotarou and the Joui faction here in Edo also received invitations.” Mutsu takes out a gaudy red and purple envelope from her vest and places it on the table. “Essentially all Joui patriots and Yato clan members will be present at the ceremony. Except your lot, of course.”

“You mean to say the guy hellbent on burning down Edo's main government... is getting married to Kagura-chan's brother?” Shinpachi asks hollowly.

Mutsu nods. “We received the invitation yesterday afternoon via your cousin, Umibozu-san. Apparently the preparations are being done in haste and the ceremony is to take place on Mount Jounen in three days, at midnight.”

“How dare he,” Kagura sniffs. “HOW DARE HE NOT INVITE US, PAPPYYYYYYY!”

“I'M GOING ANYWAY, KAGURA-CHAN. I CAN'T IGNORE MY SON'S WEDDING. YOUR MOTHER WOULDN'T APPROVE, KAGURA-CHAN, SHE WOULDN'T APPROVE.”

And so naturally, Umibozu and Kagura continue to sob in each others arms, rocking back and forth while Sakamoto continues to dab at his bloody nose.

“Ne, Kintoki, isn't it wonderful Takasugi-kun's finally found a husband who can calm him down?”

Gintoki digs his nose and shrugs. “Clearly I'm not awake right now because I think I just heard you idiots say Takasugi of all people is getting married. That clearly can't be happening because he's insane and no one wants to marry someone who smells like tobacco all day.”

“You smell like piss and cheap sake, Gin-san, I don't know why you're judging.”

“Shut it, Patsuan!”

Mutsu wrinkles her nose. “Regardless of your feelings, it's going to happen. One of Edo's most formidable enemies is about to marry the head of one of the most powerful tribes in the galaxy. This can either mean Earth and Rakuyou will always be safe, or both are about to be torched and salted for the reception's entertainment hour.”

Kagura and Umibozu jump up at the same time, eyes blazing and fists clenched at their sides.

“Where does Bakaniki get the balls?” Kagura seethes. “Getting married to an Earthling and not even inviting his own father and sister? WHERE DOES HE GET THE BALLS, PAPPYYYYYYY!”

“CLEARLY HE GETS THEM FROM ME, KAGURA-CHAN, BUT AT LEAST ABUTO WAS THERE TO WITNESS MY MARRIAGE EVEN IF IT WAS A SHOTGUN. BUT YOUR BROTHER? HOW CAN HE MAKE WEDDING PREPARATIONS WITHOUT HIS FATHER THERE TO JUDGE HIS WEDDING ROBES? WITHOUT HIS SISTER THERE TO DRESS THE PALANQUIN? I WON'T ALLOW IT, KAGURA-CHAN. YOUR MOTHER WOULDN'T APPROVE. YOUR MOTHER WOULDN'T APROOOOOOOVE.”

“Gin-san, Mutsu-san, I don't think Umibozu-san and Kagura-chan are worried about the fate of our planets,” Shinpachi concludes.

“A father and his daughter were cheated of their own purple and red envelopes, Shinpachi-kun,” Sakamoto sighs dramatically. “It's a tragedy.”

“It'll be an even bigger tragedy if all four heavenly kings aren't present at the wedding ceremony of the commander of the Kiheitai,” Gintoki deadpans.

“Gin-san, you can't possib-”

“Possibly what, Shinpachi?” Gintoki gets up, scratches his butt, and signals for everyone to move. “If Takasugi thinks he can invite Zura and not invite me, he's already causing me problems. Now he's invited Sakamoto too and the rest of the Yato nuts but not Tou-chan and Kagura-chan? That's just disrespectful. Normally I'd let it stand because then I'd get more beauty sleep, but there should be free food and lots of gifts that can probably disappear unnoticed, so it's the Yorozuya plus Tou-chan plus Kaientai's duty to crash this shebang to high hell.”

“He'll pay for not inviting us, Pappy! He'll pay for it all!”

“Your mother is crying, Kagura-chan, I can feel her crying!”

“This is going be so much fun!” Sakamoto claps happily.

“If Kamui kills you all, I'm taking the ship, Captain.”

And with that, they set off to Mount Jounen.

**

Kamui sneezes once, twice, three times. Shinsuke grunts and hands him a tissue. “Thank you, beloved.”

“I'll kill you if this plan doesn't work,” Shinsuke deadpans.

Kamui beams. “Worry not. Our wedding night will be filled with music, poetry readings, dancing, and the beheadings of Harusame's elders and captains, along with Nobunobu's ugly mug. You know they can't resist a public slight of this magnitude.”

“You invited half the galaxy.”

“Only the half that counts,” Kamui winks.

Shinsuke settles his head down on Kamui's lap. “It had better work,” he mumbles drowsily.

“It'll work,” Kamui promises. “It's our wedding, and if anyone tries to ruin it, I'll kill them.” And Kamui would. Kamui honest-to-Hell would.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And yes, there's going to be a sequel! Stay tuned. *3*


End file.
